The Deployment Diary

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Pansy Man aka the Garbage Man

If it's on this body...it hurts. My gosh, everything I have is hurting or aching. Gosh what a day. Earlier, when I mentioned going through and pulling out the staples, I forgot ONE crucial part...going around the edges of the room and removing the wood, spiked strips that are NAILED down that hold the carpet in place. Add two and a half hours lol. It takes a hammer, a flat head screw driver - and carefully popping out nails while stabbing yourself over and over with the spikes while you try to get the things off the floor. I was doing darn good on time too - until I realized I had to get the wood spiked things up. Sheesh.

I'll have to get a photo of the trash. My gosh the stuff is piled high in the garbage wheeled thing the company dropped off. Oh and then there's another PILE of carpet and padding and bags full of crap from that room on top of it. Mr. Pansy Man (our garbage man) is gonna be cussing me on Thursday heh heh.

See, he and I go WAAAY back to when we first bought the crack house. Now remember, I may be small but I have a temper that scares my husband lol - and he's weighing in at 260 lbs these days lol. Anyhow, those first months in the house, well - life was NO fun. Let me rephrase - life was HELL. Husband thought we'd made the most awful decision buying this house and it looked like shit on the outside and after working 16 hours and driving up to see a piece of shit house he's having to pay for and this doesn't work and that needs fixing and what were we thinking...

Yeah. I wanted to strangle him lol. It's really not his fault. I should have known before we bought the house that Mr. Meticulous could NOT live in disarray for ONE day, much less months as we renovate a house. It makes him NUTS. And, in turn - him being nuts makes me become a bitch heh heh. Yeah, it's all his fault LMBO!

Ok, so back to Garbage Pansy Man. The kitchen was AWFUL when we moved in. So nasty and awful, we couldn't even cook in there. I ripped out carpet and linoleum and tiles - then the wood floor had black hard as a rock adhesive that would NOT come off without doing one foot by one foot sections, soaking it with Greased Lightening of all things and using a scraper to scrape the goo off the floor. Nope, even adhesive remover wouldn't make the stuff budge.

Every day the kitchen stayed a wreck, it was another day the husband had to bitch lol. And, my sparkling personality went downhill from there LMBO. Now, keep in mind we both now LOVE the house and he cannot wait to get home to rip out walls and do this and that - but those first months... Whew - you could cut the tension with a KNIFE lol.

So here I am lugging all this crap out to our measly won't hold dog poop much less renovation stuff trash can - and making a neat and tidy pile NEXT to the can. I call the garbage company and find out I can have up to FIVE bundles of extra stuff, but nothing can be longer than five feet. I measure, I tie it up, I have it ready.

Bastard leaves it sitting there. Just empties the can without touching the mountain of crap sitting next to it (five piles, but it was a HIGH five foot width - five piles lol). I call the company. I tell them - I measured, I tied it up, I had it ready - and it's still sitting on my lawn. She says she'll call me back.

She calls me back and had talked to the driver. He said it was too HEAVY. I explained my size to the lady and suggested that unless he wants his manhood in the crapper when he pulls back up and I put the shit in the back of the truck FOR HIM in front of the entire town...he'll stop lying, admit he didn't even TRY to pick it up and come do HIS JOB.

Five minutes later - you can hear that engine roaring around the block - Mr. Pansy Man has the pedal to the medal lol. I'm standing just inside the door scoping out what Mr. Pansy Man is going to do. He gets out, he throws all the stuff in the back of the truck (wow, wasn't so heavy after all) - oh and you can see his lips moving where he's cussing up a storm lol.

After the last bundle, before he can make his scrawny self get back on the truck he's just GOT to hit something. He knows he can't knock on my door and hit me - I'm stronger than he is and I'd kick his pansy ass heh heh, so he KICKS the trash can over. OOOOOhhhhh. What a big man!! Way to go!!

Yes, I called and suggested they get him anger management training LMBO. So it was my goal in life for several weeks after that to stomp on his ego every Thursday lol. I would be outside when he pulled up. Each week there were more piles of crap I'd ripped out of this place and each week I'd be in the yard and say, "It's pretty heavy, you need some help with that?!"

He'd shake his head and cuss lol. Well, that's what you get for being a pansy man - little guy with a little man complex. Have I mentioned I have a brother who had little man complex? Little men with complexes make me have flashbacks LMBO and I want to HURT them when they start showing symptoms of "the complex." Idiots.

So there you have it. When Thursday rolls around, I'll get to see his day go into the crapper because he has to get his lazy ass OFF the truck and pick something UP. Oh the horror! Oh the shame! Hell, he should have tried carrying all that shit down two flights of stairs (with two children screaming "Can I go??! Can I go??!" like I'm going to Florida or something), two dogs who want to see how fast you can fall down the stairs instead of walk - a door to get through without letting said little people or dogs OUT while carting the crap...yeah, throwing it in the truck is SO HARD (rolling eyes).

Next time, I'll tell you what I found under the radiator LMBO! The excitement of old house life!! You can hardly stand it, can you? lol!

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