The Deployment Diary

Saturday, July 31, 2004

Day 321 - Reconnecting With a Friend

My friend and her two children arrived last Sunday afternoon and stayed until Wednesday morning. The evenings, after we had all the babies asleep, were just like old times. We sat up every night until 2 in the morning talking, laughing and watching TV.

Back when we lived in the same area, my husband and I had started our family after meeting them. So, the first almost two years we were friends, she had a toddler and we were a childless couple. She was there when our daughter was born and I'll never be able to thank her enough for being there for my husband and I while I spent three days in labor. She'd bring food for my husband - and sneak me a little food ha ha. While I was still in surgery and my husband stayed with me, she went with our daughter and stayed right by her side until I was out of surgery, back in my room and they brought our baby to us. I was so upset at the thought of our daughter being alone with strangers after being born...she assured me she'd be there with her the entire time - and was. It eased this new Mommy's heart and mind so much.

For some extra money after our daughter was born, my husband worked a second job for a while as a bouncer at a bar right outside the gate of the installation. Of course, he'd gone through the command to get it approved. He'd get home from the Army around 6 pm, eat dinner right quick, change clothes and then bounce at the bar from 7 pm until 2 in the morning. When we look back now, we have no clue how he did it - but he did. Several nights a week, my friend would come over while he was working and stay until about twenty minutes before he would get home from the second job. She didn't want to intrude - being there when he came home after working from 5 in the morning for the Army until 2 in the morning at the bar... I never could go to sleep while he was working at the bar. It was a pretty rough place. She'd come over and help me pass the time.

We'd talk, sometimes color each other's hair - talk some more ha ha. Through the years we've remained friends while we each moved on to different installations and lived on opposite sides of the globe. It was really nice to see her again - and I feel as though we sort of reconnected during this visit. We've remained somewhat close through the years, but this past year - maybe year and a half, I've felt as though we were drifting apart. After this visit, I feel like we're back on track again. Close - as though we've spent all this time living at the same place together.

Our family just has a different parenting style than they do I guess. My children have rules and boundaries and hers do too, but her son (the same age as our son) doesn't seem to have grasped those boundaries just yet lol. The first two days were pretty rough, but by the late afternoon of the third day - things really were better. They could have stayed another few days and I would have been fine with it. Those first two days though, both of us thought "whoa, this ain't gonna work" LMBO! I'm very glad that in the end, things settled down and all of us ended up having a nice time.

She called last night and we talked for a bit. It sounds as though things are going well for her and I'm so relieved. They've had a lot of change in the past six to eight months. Her husband returned from the war, they moved from overseas back to the states, she has some medical problems - it's been a lot of change in a short period of time and a lot of adjustments. I'll keep praying that things continue to settle down and improve for her and her family. If you have a moment, please say some prayers for her. She's the kind of friend who would give you her last five dollars, would get up at 2 in the morning and talk if you called and needed an ear - would fly across the country if an emergency happened and you needed help. We may be different types of parents ;), but I'm truly blessed to have been able to call her friend for going on a decade.

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