The Deployment Diary

Monday, June 07, 2004

Day 267 - Homecoming Is All I Can Think Of

I'm not sure what got into me, but starting last Thursday, I just felt bad. Nothing major, but stuffy nose, cough and a sore throat. Not enough to be as lazy as I was being, but I went with it anyway. I think the only things I did all weekend was keep us fed, the dishes washed and the floors vacuumed. I didn't even do laundry - even today! Mondays are my change the sheets day.

So, being lazy is done. Tomorrow morning early I'm in a rush to get these house projects finished. By 9, I hope to be in the dining room and work until lunch. After lunch, I've promised to take the babies swimming. After that, I figure we'll eat a quick dinner and then I'll cut the backyard. Wednesday, I'll do the same except in the evening, cut the front yard. If I can physically keep up, several nights this week I plan to work on the dining room some after the babies go to bed. I've just GOT to get that room done and the bedroom done. I'm so stressed over allowing the dining room project to drag on as long as it has, I'm determined to get my rear in gear.

The internet is down over my husband's way. So, we aren't able to communicate like we've become accustomed to. He did get to call last night though and we talked for a bit. We are both more than ready for this to be over and to have our family back together. I'm to the point where it's all I can think about. It consumes my every thought. What it will be like to SEE him. How it will feel to hold his hand again. What kisses feel like...it's been so long since we kissed one another. I think about being able to kiss him again and I get tingly - like that young twenty-two year old who kissed him at the end of our first date.

I can't WAIT for him to sit with me and watch our babies play. They are such characters and so many times, I would have been hysterical over some of the things they were saying if only he'd been here to share it with me. I can't wait for him to see the house and all the changes.

I can't wait to finally get our new bedroom suit and have our bedroom completely redone...and to light candles and lay in bed and talk for hours like we used to. It never fails, Sunday nights our schedules will be messed up from taking turns napping and sleeping in over the weekend, we just can't get to sleep at a decent hour. We know Monday morning we'll be hating life, but we stay awake talking anyway. Eventually, one of us will say something and we'll get to laughing so hard we both have tears coming out of our eyes. Gosh I haven't laughed like that in almost a year and I can't wait to feel that again, to have my life back. A life I love and value and the pure happiness I feel when my family is together, where everyone is safe and healthy and happy.

I know no one person's life is perfect, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to be this happy in adulthood. Coming from a divorced home, I never thought I'd marry - I never thought I'd ever feel loved or ever be a mother. I was such a loner and just an unhappy early 20-something. And by chance, my life changed when I met him. He showed me love like I'd never known. Happiness I'd never even contemplated. Passion that I hadn't known existed. Comfort and safety - peace and excitement. It was as if I'd been blind all my life and when I met him, he opened my eyes to what life is and should be.

I love him with every ounce of my soul. When he comes home, there will never be another day if he can retire as planned where I will EVER spend a night away from him again. I want to share every day of the rest of my life taking care of him and loving him in person, not from the other side of the world.

Gosh, I just cannot wait to see his clothes in the laundry. I can't wait to put his PJ bottoms, a clean towel and wash cloth out for him in the bathroom so when he goes up to take a shower after work, he just has to get in the shower because I have it all ready for him.

I can't wait to cook his dinners and talk to him while we're clearing off the table. I can't wait until we're putting the babies to bed and we say good night to them and walk down the stairs together talking about what beautiful children we made together. I can't wait to drink his coffee - mine tastes awful compared to the way he makes it. I can't wait to sit on the porch in the cool breeze and hear about his day at work. I cannot WAIT to watch him sleep. Just hear him breathing and that peaceful look on his face.

It's all I can think about. All that and so much more. I miss him so much. Please keep him and all those with him in your prayers for a safe last few months. May God watch over them all and not rob ONE soldier of the loving homecoming they all deserve.

I miss him and as each day brings us closer to the day we're finally together again, I can hardly contain my excitement. He's brought so much love and happiness to my life and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing him how special and loved he is.

He is so deeply loved by so many family members and friends, but especially by me. Please God, watch over him and bring him home safely to us. We love him so much.

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