The Deployment Diary

Monday, June 28, 2004

Day 288 - The Transfer Of Power

I woke up this morning feeling like I'd worked out the day before or something. My legs are sore, my arms, back and shoulders. I went to get up and could hardly move anything I was so "stove up" as my grandmother would have called it. I didn't do anything yesterday, so the only thing I can think of is during my sleep I stayed tense. When I tensed up my muscles earlier, everything that hurts was what was involved in the tensing up lol (does that even make sense?), so I must have had some nightmares last night or something that kept my entire body clenched. Gosh I've never woken up sore in the morning when I hadn't done anything to become sore :(.

Anyhow, my husband called last night and we were able to talk for over an hour! I love that he's willing to get up so early and get to the phones when no one else is in line so we can talk without having to hurry. We had a great conversation too. He mentioned the transfer of power and I told him, "I don't know why they don't go ahead and do it now. I read last week that they'd transferred the last of the government agencies, so I don't know what they are waiting for."

I hobble to my desk this morning to check my email. I always read my email before I start making my rounds on my favorite blogs and news sites. Within his email he said:
They handed the country over to the Iraqis today instead of the 30th, now we just wait and see what happens.

I had to read it twice to make sure my tired eyes were really seeing that!

This Administration once again has done the right thing at the right time. It just plain makes sense. As I had mentioned to my husband, everything was already being controlled by Iraqis, as this AP article pointed out also:
U.S., U.K. Hail Transfer of Power to Iraq

Last Thursday, the U.S.-led coalition transferred the final 11 of the 26 government ministries to full Iraqi control, meaning Iraqis were already handling the day-to-day operations of the interim administration.
Why allow the terrorists more time to get news coverage of their attacks under headline after headline of, "As the Transfer of Power Quickly Approaches, Insurgents Increase Attacks." Take the coverage away from them. The transfer of power is now behind us and instead of fighting the coalition, the terrorists will now be fighting the very people they say they are fighting for in the first place.

Two thumbs up for the coalition. Smart move. Now, I guess we must wait to see what those who just had defeat handed to them on a silver platter do next. I can imagine some morale problems are going on right about now within the terrorists' groups. Defeated and done so without a bullet being fired.

One more battle in this war has been won. If only Americans will have the backbone to see this through so we will eventually win the entire war...

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Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Day 282 - A Woman on a Mission

I am bound and determined to finish that dining room this week and get to work on the bedroom. I've wasted so much time doing nothing, I'm on a mission to make every day be productive. My hopes are to be completely finished with both rooms by the 15th of July. I keep hearing that dirty looking little guy in Adam Sandler's move Waterboy, "You can do et!" heh heh.

So as of yesterday, I have the first coat of the stain/poly mix on everything. I called the hardware store yesterday to see if they had the color I'm using (Antique Walnut) in the gloss. It took two quarts of the satin just to cover the doorway, the doors and the wainscoting/plate rail. I thought if I could get two more quarts of the gloss here in town, I could put a second coat of the gloss and cut out an entire coat completely.

The plan was two coats of the satin (gloss use to not be available here) and then a third coat of plain gloss poly to give the room a real formal feel. Soooo, today I will finish the gloss stain/poly mix and if it works out as planned, I will have a week to ten days freed up while it all sets up. I don't want to tape it off too soon to prime and paint the walls and the tape end up messing up my finish. While it waits the week to week and a half, I'll get started in the bedroom stripping off all the wallpaper. Hopefully, by the time the woodwork is ready to be taped off, I'll have the wallpaper off the bedroom walls and be almost finished repairing the cracks on the walls so I can paint in there.

I think the hardest part of the bedroom is going to be the ceiling. In old houses, they put paper over the ceilings and then paint it. The paper on the ceiling in the bedroom has peeled in some places. The thought of standing on a ladder, hands over my head for hours while stripping all that paper off is NOT appealing lol. I figure that will be harder than ripping out the carpet and carrying it from upstairs all the way out to the trash lol.

At any rate, until 4 July, I'm not planning on being on the computer much. Starting tonight, I will be hitting the hay at an early hour to be up and working by 7:30 or 8:00 each morning. We've had really cool weather and rain almost every evening here the past week (it's been wonderful!!), so going to the pool hasn't been much of an option. Here soon, it will warm back up though. I want to get an early start and work until lunch, then make sure the babies have all my time in the afternoon so we can do fun things. Some nights I'll work after they go to bed too, but most nights I want to rest up. This darn body of mine doesn't always want to keep up with the pace I want to go lol, so sometimes my plans and reality are two different things. Oh well, mind over matter right lol?

After today, blogging will probably stop until after the 4th. At that time, I hope to be far enough along in the projects to devote the evenings to updating the blog with photos and details of how the projects are moving along. Hope everyone has a great two weeks!!

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

A Love Affair to Remember...

I've read and heard several people talk about the Reagan's love for one another. Watching Mrs. Reagan say good-bye last week truly broke my heart. There have been several times during this past year I've had my spirit broken while I waited, terrified I may be handed a flag. To watch Mrs. Reagan and acknowledging my own fears, I could not help but to cry during most of the ceremony. Once Taps was played, I sobbed my way through the rest.

After that many years together, I just don't know how you can say good-bye. My heart cannot imagine what it must be like that first time you walk through the front door of the home you shared, knowing they are no longer of this earth. During this year, my mind has often told my heart that no matter how hard life is without my husband home, as long as he is still on this earth somewhere, the blessings will always outweigh the hardships.

As the press and Kerry put the honoring of Reagan behind them and start their assault to ensure the American people make NO comparisons of Reagan and Bush, my prayers continue on for Mrs. Reagan and the late President Reagan. As Mrs. Kerry has her sour, lack of class show through, I look to Mrs. Reagan and Mrs. Bush and am proud to have these strong and loving women to represent our country. Mrs. Reagan's grace and beauty shown brightly through during each portion of the remembrances. Her loving final words to President Reagan, her quite strength and her sorrow for the world to see were aspects of character I wish more people had. She is truly an inspiration and a First Lady in all senses of the word.

I'm sure as with all marriages, they had their ups and downs, but their love kept them on the same life path, going in the same direction, at the same time. I hope and pray the example my husband and I set for our children will be as loving and wonderful as what the Reagans have lived and shared with our country.

Mother said, "Theirs' was a a love affair to remember, much like yours and your husband's." She said his name of course, but I'm not comfortable doing that on my diary until after he's home.

Mother went on to say the biggest blessing in the world is to know your child is loved and cherished by their spouse and she sees that with us. She said that she can see the love he has for me when he looks at me - and the same when I look at him. That neither of us probably realize we're showing it so clearly - even when it is only a glance, it's just the way we look at one another that warms her heart. It makes her know that when her day comes to go home - she can rest easy knowing I'll be safely in the arms of a man who loves me so deeply.

Each year we are closer. Even when I think there is no way we could ever grow more as a couple, our love brings us closer to one another and it deepens each and every year. I feel loved when he looks at me. He doesn't have to say a word and I feel it. When I look at him, my heart beats faster and I often can't help but to walk over and just touch his arm or give him a quick kiss as I make my way to the kitchen for more coffee. It's pure, unconditional love and it is something that I hope my children will someday share with another. That our love affair will be something they will tell their children about.

I truly feel we are living our own special love affair to remember and I am so very blessed...

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Day 276- Finally Heard "Letters From Home"

We had to drive up to the installation today for my doctor's appointment, get little guy a hair cut and pick up some groceries. On the way home, I finally heard the new song, "Letters From Home." If you've not heard it, I'd suggest flipping the dial every two seconds like I did until you finally run across it ;).

Here are the lyrics:
Artist: John Michael Montgomery
Song Title: Letters from home lyrics

My Dear Son, it is almost June,
I hope this letter catches up to you,
and finds you well.
Its been dry but they’re calling for rain,
And everything's the same
ol’ same in Johnsonville.
Your stubborn 'ol Daddy ain’t said too much,
But I’m sure you know he sends his love,
And she goes on,
In a letter from home.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared
and our boots ain’t muddy,
and they all laugh,
Like there’s something funny
bout’ the way I talk,
When I say: "Mama sends her best y’all."
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home.

My Dearest Love, its almost dawn.
I’ve been lying here all night long
wondering where you might be.
I saw your Mama and I showed her the ring.
Man on the television said something
so I couldn’t sleep.
But I’ll be all right, I’m just missing you.
An' this is me kissing you:
XX’s and OO’s,
In a letter from home.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared
and our boots ain’t muddy,
and they all laugh,
'Cause she calls me "Honey",
but they take it hard,
'Cause I don’t read the good parts.
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home.

Dear Son, I know I ain’t written,
But sittin' here tonight,
alone in the kitchen, it occurs to me,
I might not have said,
so I’ll say it now:
Son, you make me proud.

I hold it up and show my buddies,
Like we ain’t scared and our boots ain’t muddy,
but no one laughs,
'Cause there ain’t nothing funny
when a soldier cries.
An' I just wipe me eyes.
I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
An' it keeps me driving me on,
Waiting on letters from home.
I guess it's no surprise that I had to put my sunglasses on even though it was cloudy and try to wipe tears away stealth-like to keep our daughter from noticing.

I think I'll try to keep the radio off those first few weeks he's home when we're in the car together. While I fought to keep the tears away while listening to this today, I tried to imagine what it's going to feel like to have him in the car with me. Regardless of who is driving, we're always touching one another. Both cars are five speeds, so if I'm driving he has his hand on my leg and if he's driving I have my hand on his leg. If we're going down the interstate and he is driving, he holds my hand.

While I was thinking about this today, I could almost feel his hand in mine. I thought about how good it feels to lean over and put my face next to his and gently kiss him on the cheek. I especially like when we've been out all day and he's starting to get a five o'clock shadow. His stubbly cheek on my smooth - the strong touching the weak, the rough in contact with the softness. No matter what subject, it just feels as though we balance one another...his large hand in my small. His larger than life presence, compared to my small, wall-flower like persona. We just complete each other and I truly am living for the day I no longer must feel as though the best part of me is missing.

I love that man with all my heart, all my soul - and the thought of finally having the opportunity to once again be held by him is what keeps me driving on....

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Found A New Blog....

Well, it's new to me ;). I truly enjoyed his writing style and the stories he had to share. Visit Hardtack and Havoc and have a laugh (his children's nicknames are hysterical), learn something about civil war reenactment and Navy life.

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Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Day 275 - Staying Busy

Yesterday I worked on the dining room and around 1:30, put everything away, got changed and took the babies to the pool for the afternoon. It's my fault I was lazy all winter and didn't finish these projects and I refuse for my stupidity to keep them locked in doors all summer. If I have to stay up until 2 in the morning every night to get finished, so be it. My babies are still going to have fun this summer.

Yesterday afternoon, I picked us up something quick to eat and had planned to get out and cut the grass. I was so blooming tired though. Around 6 pm, a thunder-boomer rolled in and thankfully I got out of having to mow ha! Today, as you'll read below, I would end up wishing it hadn't rained so I could have mowed the yard as planned.

This morning I finished up the first coat of stain on the plate rail and wainscoting. We ate lunch and had Little Debbie snacks for dessert. I was just about to get my lazy self up and get busy on cleaning up the kitchen when the doorbell rang. It was my older neighbor two doors down. They are probably in their 70s. Mrs. B said she hadn't seen us out and told Mr. B she was coming down to check on us.

I'm sure due to my grass being knee high, they were worried. I never let my grass get that high - but like last night, every time I went to cut it something would come up. She saw the mess in the dining room which embarrasses me. I don't want anyone seeing the mess I have going on in that room. Her grandson is our carpenter so she knows how long the plate rail and wainscoting have been up and I'm sure she wondered what in the world has taken me so long to finish it.

She was so sweet and asked how my husband was and if we had word on when he may return. Another grandson is at Fort Bragg I believe she said and has just returned from Iraq. She said Mr. B was on his way down to cut my grass. I told her I had planned to do it tonight, but she insisted. When we walked back outside, Mr. B was on his way down the sidewalk with his mower. I asked him not to mow it, it was just too hot and I'd do it late this evening once it cooled off. He'd have none of that and before I knew it, he was mowing. He even cut the horrible backyard that has doggie land mines throughout :(. I'll be looking for something nice for them and a thank you card to hopefully show them how much I truly appreciate them and their help.

I've just felt so overwhelmed lately. Having the grass off my to-do list felt as though someone lifted 50 lbs off my shoulders for some reason. I'm so thankful for my neighbors. They are truly some of the most wonderful people in the world.

Well, I better close. I want to put a coat of the stain/poly mix on the doorway before bed. Tomorrow I have a lot of errands to run so I won't be able to work on the dining room at all until tomorrow night. I at least want to get an idea of how it is going to look. I know I keep promising, but this weekend I'll try my best to get some photos added so anyone interested can see what I'm talking about.

I hope everyone is having a good week!

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Monday, June 14, 2004

Day 274 - Thankfully Monday is Here

The weekends are just hard to get through. I'm always so thankful to have another one behind me and be a week closer to the day he finally comes home.

All weekend I worked on staining in the dining room. I'm still not done. I have one wall left to do and plan to tackle it in just a few minutes.

I spent the morning checking in on my favorite blogs and seeing what Boortz had to say this morning.

I was really upset this weekend to see that one of my favorite bloggers had a influx of leftist folks swarm into her blog and leave some of the nastiest comments I've ever had the displeasure of reading. Some of the comments were nothing less than disgusting. It's just firmed my belief that the majority of people who lean far left of center are bitter, mean and hateful. I never can understand how they view the world and honestly their view frightens me. I have lost any interest in hearing any ideas from the far left. Gore seemed to start a movement of hate and the rest of the left was all too eager to follow. I don't want people who hate those who disagree with their ideas running our country and I just cannot allow myself to believe that the majority of Americans feel this way - and act in that manner. Surely Michael Moore and those like him have to be in the minority and Lieberman is representative of what the average American feels. Gosh I hope... At any rate, I said some prayers for the blogger. Even though you know these people don't have a clue as to the person you are, having so many people come in and be that hateful has to hurt somewhere. I just cannot understand what makes people be so hurtful to others - and the fact that they all seemed to be enjoying themselves just disgusted me to no end. May they all be treated as they have chosen to treat her. A woman who is facing life in a foreign country alone - with no family and a husband in a dangerous place where every day is filled with worry for the person they love. Someone who is doing more to support our nation than any of these hateful vile people - and yet they love the fact they can wage insults to try to make themselves feel superior. They are not superior. They are examples of what the worst of our country has to offer and as I believe, what comes around goes around. I hope they all get a taste of what they have dished out and then some. She didn't deserve any of the vile things that were said.

Still in a crappy mood...
My husband called last night. We had a great conversation. We had quite a few laughs and talked about everything under the sun, but I still had to cry here and there when we talked about how much we missed each other. I told him he'd be sick of me after the first few weeks home, that I'd never be able to wear makeup because I'd be crying all the time. He said he didn't care if I cried - I could cry all I wanted. Gosh I love him. No one else on the planet could put up with my tears like he does. It just seems that the longer he is gone, the harder it gets. I just miss him so much.

And I found out he'll get per diem when he returns. It'll be around $1200.00! That will add nicely to the amount of savings I have now! I've saved a ton of money during this year and the jobs I've done. I told him we'll have a great time shopping when he gets home! I want him to buy himself a new recliner and I want to buy us a new couch - one that the seat is really deep so we can both lie down and watch tv together. I'd like to buy a new dining room table and he wants to buy a leaf blower and new weedeater. It's the thought of us being able to go and buy whatever we want that has me saving every penny we make ;). I hate shopping, but I love to go shopping with him.

Well, the morning is now gone. I better get in that dining room and get busy. I worked on it until 2 in the morning last night and plan to do the same tonight too. I've got to get it finished so I can get our bedroom redone too!

Hope everyone has a great Monday!

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Saturday, June 12, 2004

Day 272 - I'm Tired of Lonely

It's just been a crappy week. Nothing happened out of the ordinary thankfully, it's just been one of those weeks that had more low points than high ones.

It's my spot to spill my emotions, so this is what I plan to do. Just write it all out and admit this is how I feel instead of feeling guilty for even thinking some of the things that are bothering me. If I don't get some of this out, I'm afraid instead of slamming the car door so hard I'm not sure it will work right again like I did today, I might just put my fist through the window. I'm back to that angry at the world for no reason stage again. Damn, I am sure that was April/early May's stage. I'm not suppose to repeat these stages am I?

In all honesty, it just boils down to one thing: I'm so lonely. And I'm so damn TIRED OF BEING LONELY. And, it's just not my husband being gone lonely, it's just the fact of my life. If he's not around, it's just me.

It's summer and everyone is busy with their own lives, vacations and family BBQs and I'm not. I am busy, but - I'm busy with me and my friend the house. There's not another adult soul around.

I wish I hadn't been such a lazy good for nothing all winter and finished these house projects so I could go spend some time with my family. Even just a week would be so wonderful. A break from the monotony of this damn house and this day in and day out routine that I call my life.

A full year alone with two children and my Mother and step-father are the only two people who could find time to come visit and that was only for four days during Christmas. It didn't seem like they'd even gotten here before it was already time for them to leave. Heck, the week prior it was looking like her and my step-father might not come. Thanksgiving was the most horrible, lonely holiday I've ever spent and if I'd had to do Christmas alone too...

My feelings are hurt I guess. Not my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, my own father - my brother who called one day saying he was thinking of coming for Thanksgiving and never bothered to call back to let me know either way - none of them thought enough of THE THREE OF US to want to come for even a long weekend. Oh those in-laws will be wanting to come as soon as he's home. I sure hate it, but I'm not interested. Husband can get on a plane and go see them. After this year is up, I plan on relaxing this next year and entertaining relatives will not be a part of that plan.

Two grandbabies whose hearts would not have been so heavy if we'd been visited here and there - and no one thought enough of them to get on a plane. FIL has been so good at calling and emailing. MIL has been a royal pain in my ass since her visit just prior to him leaving. I've generally liked her throughout the years my husband and I have been married, but after some of the things she's said to me during this year, she can kiss my ass. Another rant for another day though.

My exciting Saturday night plan that I looked forward to all week? Watching Bridget Jones's Diary. I'd never seen it and it was coming on TNT. Oh the excitement.

And my husband has inadvertently hurt my feelings. Before I even type this one, know that I do realize that I'm being shallow and selfish. However, I just can't help but be upset about this and maybe by admitting that I am, I'll let it go.

About a month or two ago he said that talking once a week just wasn't enough. He was going to start calling twice a week at least. I thought that was wonderful. Getting to talk to him twice in one week?! HEAVEN!!

Well, the first week we were going to start our new plan, something bad happened over there and communication was cut. The next week, he said the same thing and again, another tragedy. The third week he said it, I said that maybe he should just pick up the phone and not say he's going to, because our luck thus far when trying to increase our communication hasn't been so grand. We both got a laugh out of that, despite what the weeks prior had been like for them. After that, he didn't mention it again and to this day, I've still not gotten two phone calls in a week. In his defense, the internet and the cheaper internet phones have been down for several weeks and they just got back up this week.

So, he emails the other day and says he finally tries to call his Dad and it turns out he's taking a trip to help an elderly friend and was gone for four days. He was able to talk to his aunt and his grandmother though.

Now, I know how much it meant for them to be able to talk to him. I do. However, at the same time, it burns my damn hide at the same time. I don't know why. Honestly, I don't. I just wonder how he'd feel if I were gone for a year and had a moment and instead of sharing it with him, I'm calling my extended family. I live for my once a week phone calls and it's the thirty minutes every week I don't feel so damn alone in the world.

It's become very clear to me that I have no life. No life outside of my husband and children that is. I had thought about finding us a church to go to. Mother's been after me since we moved here and I always say, "When I finish the kitchen (or other projects since), I will start trying to find us a new church." Then, I'm so beat after the project is finished and about the time I should get dressed and pick a local church to try - I end up starting another project and the idiocy starts all over again.

After he left, I'd planned to find us a church. I prayed a lot about it. Then I thought, if I did find one, the babies and I would be a part of this church. We'd know everyone and feel like part of the congregation's family. Then, he would come home and there would be an entirely new aspect to the three of our lives that he's not a part of. We'd be comfortable and he'd be new...and I feared it would feel as though our lives had gone on without him. I decided a new church would be something I'd rather us find as a family - once he got home.

My one friend here in town, her in-laws have visited no less than five times these past nine months. Her family was here when school let out - and then she'd be driving them back to their home state at the end of this month and spending July 4th back home.

My friend from the FRG - her father is retired Army. The town outside the gate is her hometown. Her parents live here. She can drive her Mom to Bingo and her Dad comes over to fix things in her house.

Me - it's just me. And gosh I don't know why this week has been like this, but gosh I've just been so lonely all I want to do is sit around and cry. It's not like when he first left, where I sat around and cried for him. I'm used to living alone now and that feeling that he could walk through the door at any moment is long gone. I can't even remember what it feels like to have him sitting in the living room with me. I just cry for the sake of crying. Because it's just me and I'm so lonely and I hate my life so much right now. And then I feel guilty for feeling that way because I have so much to be thankful for. I truly do.

But, I've built and lived my entire life around my husband. He works such long hours, when he is off of work, I don't want to go shopping with a friend - I want to be home, with him. I don't volunteer anywhere, I don't work outside the home. I have wonderful internet friends - but even they are busy these days.

So there you have it. I'm lonely and I'm tired of being lonely. Just another stupid pity party to add to the growing list of pity parties I've thrown for myself. Sheesh, I'm useless. At least I feel better after having dumped it all here lol.

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Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Today's Political Conversation

I visit a site that is for military spouses. I probably post more often in their Current Events forum than I should. I have a tendency to be overbearing when I talk about politics these days, even when I don't mean to.

Today, there was a discussion about the new UN resolution, Kerry - the UN in particular and of course, President Bush.

Normally, it's just my ramblngs being a right leaning conservative. Today was no different I guess, but I just felt as though the points I made were on target. That I'd brought it all together in my mind and was able to finally express my frustration - especially my frustration with the "we need the UN" politicians clearly and effectively. Because of that, I thought I'd put it within my blog to sort of keep it.

Quote boxes within quote boxes below are the comments I'm addressing made by another writer and quoting one article that is linked:

Don't take this wrong, but "take" what John Kerry? Bush is now doing what he should have done in the first place, getting support for the freeing of Iraq.

What else could Bush and our diplomats have done to get this support in the first place? I'm truly interested in hearing other ideas on what could have been done. I hear so many say he should have done this in the first place, but I never hear HOW these people would have done it differently.

France as the ring-leader and Germany and Russia (all members with a veto) said they would NOT (even though Resolution 1441 was passed and stated Saddam must comply) go along with regime change. France said upfront and without question they would use their veto. In other words, we will write threatening letters, we'll make speeches - but we are proving to the world you can ignore UN resolutions because we are not going to enforce them.

Ironically, as so many stated during the run-up to war that we were "after their oil" and other wild accusations, it turns out the these very three nations who were so vehemently opposed to us toppling a dictator who tortured and murdered his own people -were the VERY people with their hands in the cookie jar.

I know our press doesn't make it easy for us to get facts that make Bush's policy and decisions appear to be as right as they were - but the news is out there if you look. These nations had large kickbacks from the Oil For Food program. Companies (and individuals) were making millions off of the program while the VERY people the program was suppose to ensure were taken care of starved and died of diseases easily preventable if only the money had been used to buy medications. Instead, the money kept members with a veto in the pocket of the dictator - making him pretty much feel as though he had a free reign on doing what he wanted. He did not have to comply - his "friends" who were making millions would protect him.

This is not Bush's failing. I find it extremely sad that our own citizens and political leaders will turn against our OWN president and country when clearly, these supposed allies of ours were in the pocket of a dictator. This is the failing of the UN who allowed a program under their control to be infiltrated by crooks who would rob the poor of food, medicine and basic necessities while lining their own pockets. Allies that would look the other way when our nation could face chemical or biological attack. Look the other way while Saddam proudly wrote checks worth thousands to the families of suicide bombers.

Had the Oil for Food Program been on the up and up, had our Allies stood WITH US instead of against us, siding with a dictator and terrorist supporter - Hussein just may have complied, allowed inspectors unfettered access and come clean - and war could have been averted ENTIRELY.

However, corruption on their end, not ours sealed the fate of the dictator. He had no reason to comply because of the millions of dollars he was paying to buy his way out of having to comply with any of the TWELVE prior resolutions - much less resolution 1441. No matter the resolutions, the wording, the threats, he truly believed France, Germany and Russia would never allow the United States to topple him. He was sure the United States would not go to war without another resolution. He was certain he had nothing to fear, hence no reason to ever consider being open, honest and forthright with weapons inspectors.

President Bush showed the world that when necessary, we will act with our own coalition (UN or no UN) and do what we must do to ensure the safety of our citizens. And, by doing so - he has impacted the entire region of governments that are terrorist supporters. He has once again shown that America will defend herself and broke eight years of allowing our country and interests to be attacked and not defending ourselves. The message was strong, loud and impacted the world - and made America safer. Lets remember that Libya would have never opened their doors to inspectors without our strong stance on countries either being with us or against us - our willingness to take action when we feel our national security is at stake. And lets certainly not forget that, to the UN's surprise, their nuclear program was much more advanced than they had ever dreamed....

So, with Allies (a term I use ever so lightly when referring to those three nations) who were being bought, how is it that this Administration failed? What else could Bush and his administration have done under these circumstances? Taken the chance that Saddam wouldn't go from paying suicide bombers families to handing off serin gas that could be released in our subway systems, schools or on airplanes? I am truly interested in the answer to that question, I just cannot seem to find one politician who can answer it.

The UN and our Allies failed us. Our president made sure he would not fail his country and its citizens.

The conversation continued:
I'm not saying things should have been done differently, I'm just saying, why throw it at Kerry?

Because, throughout the past year our nation has been at war in Iraq, he has continually used the UN failing to support our actions as a lightening rod to making the entire endeavor a failure in our diplomacy efforts regardless of the facts. During the primaries - he stepped up the same ridiculous notion. That our arrogance (he should speak of arrogance by the way) has alienated us from the rest of the world - when in reality we have a large coalition with only a few (the famous three) and Canada objecting. So, when we DO secure UN "approval" it tips the scales showing that we (our country) and this administration are not isolationists, we are working toward positive diplomatic relations with our "allies" - we just have allies that were allies with the world's enemy instead of the country that FREED TWO OF THEM in the first place.
I'm glad that the UN came around, and now they can have a piece of the pie that we have secured......I"m glad we have their support, even though it wouldn't have mattered anyway!

I'd be interested in knowing why you are glad. What exactly makes this a positive thing? Why they can now have a piece of the pie that OUR loved ones have died for when they refuse to even send troops to help train the Iraqi police and military so the Iraqis can protect themselves?

Why, after supporting a dictator and by their willingness to look the other way, they indirectly had a hand at hundreds of thousands (possibly millions) of innocent Iraqi's deaths by supporting that dictator, should we be GLAD they might get something out of this? Especially considering they have, at every step, tried their best to undercut our country and our mission in Iraq.

The Iraqi people deserve to get something out of it and a start would be a return of the millions of dollars that were stolen from them. They deserve a true body of United Nations that will send in help so we can train police and security forces quicker so Iraq can secure elections and the Iraqis can safely VOTE. It's the LEAST the UN could do for them considering what they failed to do.

Thus far, the UN has yet to do anything but send in a small group to oversee elections. And the ink is barely even dry on the latest UN resolution and France's Chirac is already making sure that the Iraqis will not be getting any additional help:
"We believe NATO ought to be involved," Bush said with Blair by his side. "We will work with our NATO friends to at least continue the role that now exists, and hopefully expand it somewhat."


But Chirac told reporters that, while he is "very much open to debate and discussion" of Bush's proposal, "I have reservations about this initiative."

"I do not believe it is NATO's purpose to intervene in Iraq," Chirac said. He said any NATO role could only be justified "if the sovereign Iraqi government were to ask for it."

Sixteen of the 26 NATO members already have troops in Iraq and NATO itself provides logistical help for a Polish-led division there.

The Bush administration would like to have the alliance take on additional duties, such as training Iraqi's new army. It would also like NATO to send forces, but recognizes that is unlikely given strong German and French opposition to sending troops.
Bush, Blair Seek Wider NATO Role in Iraq

The UN is worthless. They robbed the Iraqi people, they looked the other way while hundreds of thousands of innocent people died (including infants due to lack of vaccines and other medications) and now they won't even help the Iraqis train to protect their own country. And they deserve a "piece of the pie?" They deserve nothing except worldwide contempt for their utter failure in absolutely EVERYTHING they are involved with - but especially the extent to which they failed the Iraqi people.

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Michelle Malkin

Thanks to Bunker Mulligan, I found out that Michelle Malkin, one of my favorite columnists, has a blog. I'm sure it will be a daily read, so I'll be adding her site to my list of favorites to the right!

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Politics and Country Music

I'm from the heart of the south. Mother jokes I'm double southern being born in Georgia and raised in Alabama. After years of not living in the south, my accent isn't as bad as it once was. However, when I call home a lot or when someone comments on it, the accent seems to come back and then some ;).

Now, if there is a majority of something in the country music demographic, it is freedom loving, flag waving, patriotic proud folks. They love this country and they make no apologies for doing so. When you are trying to sell records (or anything for that matter), you want to appeal to your audience. Singing anti-war songs is not a way to get country music folks listening and buying.

Country Music Radio Full of Pro-War Songs discusses this topic.

First off, I wouldn't say any of the songs were pro-war, but pro-America in my opinion. Keith's Angry American song talked of defending this country when we're attacked - not kicking France's arrogant - country, just because we could. But, lets make those southerners out to be gun-toting, looking for a fight and simple minded.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) - Country music artists are hardly united in their support of the war in Iraq - but you'd never know it from listening to the radio.

While Toby Keith, Darryl Worley and Charlie Daniels have scored hits with patriotic, war-themed songs, others such as Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard and Nanci Griffith released anti-war, or at least questioning, songs that went nowhere.

"Country radio does enough research that they understand listeners are supportive of the military in Iraq and just don't want to get involved with those songs," said John Hart, president of Nashville-based Bullseye Marketing Research.

"I work with 32 stations, and I have not seen one test any of these anti-war songs."
Now, lets be honest here, Nelson is and has been well - a has been for a while. His last hit involved Toby Keith and I doubt without Keith it would have been much of a hit. Country music has changed since Nelson and Haggard's day and it's not all twang and tear in my beer tunes anymore. I'm not a huge country music fan, so I've never heard of Griffith.

Stations are out to make money by selling advertising. If your listeners aren't listening, you aren't staying on the air - just ask Air America. If it's one thing those in the radio industry understand, it is the people who are listening to them and what they want to hear. Anti-war, anti-America rhetoric would go over about as well as taking Fran Dresher deer hunting. One laugh from her and you might as well put your tree stand back in your truck and go home.

But the patriotic tunes that were everywhere at the beginning of the military campaigns in Afghanistan and Iraq have slowed. John Michael Montgomery's touching "Letters from Home" is the only current chart hit with a war theme, and it is neither an angry call to arms nor a love letter to America.

Hart believes the flag-waving songs reached a saturation point. He also says the continuing hostilities in Iraq and recent prison abuse scandal may have tempered the enthusiasm expressed early in the conflict.
Boortz is right, the press is going to throw that prison scandal in every article they can. Regardless, if I know southerners, most weren't too happy with what the soldiers responsible for the scandal did. They understand the difference between torture and a few idiots with cameras who must have mental issues to find pleasure in treating fellow humans that way.

And as far as patriotic songs lessening compared to those at the beginning of the war, I'd disagree even with my limited listening to country music. We had Keith's Angry American and Have You Forgotten at the beginning of this war on terrorism. Not too long ago Keith released American Soldier which was a hit. We had Already There and the version by the same group with the military spouses talking on it. Now, there's Letters From Home (which I've still not heard). It seems to me we've had a steady flow of songs and not a huge saturation and now people backing away from it.

In addition to donating tickets to soldiers in the 101st Airborne Division at Fort Campbell, CMA will also hold a reunion of entertainers who performed for troops in Iraq last December. Guests at the Friday event include Worley, whose "Have You Forgotten" remains a conservative rallying cry, as well as liberal comedian and author Al Franken and "JAG" actress Karri Turner.

Franken said the backlash against the Dixie Chicks after lead singer Natalie Maines criticized President Bush on a London stage last year had "a chilling effect on what people felt they could or couldn't say" in country music.

"And that's too bad," Franken said. "I think people should be free to express their politics."
Why Franken is all of a sudden an expert on the country music industry is beyond me. Oh that's right, he knows everything.

The truth is, people didn't care for what Maines said about Bush. However, the fact she was seeking the cheers from foreigners against our own President in a foreign country jerked fans' chains. I know it did mine.

I was a huge Chicks fan and loved their music. I can't even bring myself to sit through one of their songs now. I get disgusted and it robs me of any enjoyment I once felt while listening to their music. Instead of listening to their music and emotionally connecting to it - I'm thinking about how she could ever want to encourage foreigners to rally against our own President. Even as much as I disliked Clinton, I wouldn't have said anything negative about him in front of a bunch of foreigners. It's like family: I can say my family is crazy, but unless you're family - don't call them crazy or you'll have an enemy for life. Country music fans love their entertainers and once that love is gone, they are not for forgiving and forgetting. We may be simple no-frill people, but we have long memories and we're more likely to give - than ever give in. Her half-baked apology, the t-shirts against Toby Keith, the magazine cover...I would be extremely surprised if the Chicks ever reach the status they enjoyed prior to their statements - much less ever have another hit song.

Franken and his "chilling effect" needs to understand that country music fans don't mind if you disagree with them about America and how great this country is, they just don't want to hear about it. They want to listen to the music and enjoy it. Knowing an artist hates the president and is vocally against a war while we're still trying to win it - well, they won't be able to forget it. Especially when they are deciding what to listen to and what they'll spend their hard earned dollars on.

Franken understands that artists are welcome and free to express their politics. However, what he fails to appreciate is their fans are free to decide they don't like what someone has to say and won't be buying what they're selling. Franken, like most of these far left folks go, don't believe there should be consequences for their words. And if there are consequences, if people are held accountable for what they say (and in the Chick's example, where they say it) well, that's "chilling." They should be able to say whatever, whenever the mood strikes them. However, the peons of the world should not have a right to disagree and stop filling their wallets.

Worley, too, cited the Dixie Chicks' incident.

"They made a pretty strong statement about the president, and we haven't heard much of them on country radio either. There is a silent majority in this country, and it is a whole lot stronger than people might think."

Worley understands the folks who are buying his music. The very people that will keep him in a mansion. Conservatives by nature are not joiners. They don't go to rallies, they don't march on Washington. They have jobs to go to and families to support. They vote in elections though and as the Chicks found out, they vote with their pocketbooks too.

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Monday, June 07, 2004

Day 267 - Homecoming Is All I Can Think Of

I'm not sure what got into me, but starting last Thursday, I just felt bad. Nothing major, but stuffy nose, cough and a sore throat. Not enough to be as lazy as I was being, but I went with it anyway. I think the only things I did all weekend was keep us fed, the dishes washed and the floors vacuumed. I didn't even do laundry - even today! Mondays are my change the sheets day.

So, being lazy is done. Tomorrow morning early I'm in a rush to get these house projects finished. By 9, I hope to be in the dining room and work until lunch. After lunch, I've promised to take the babies swimming. After that, I figure we'll eat a quick dinner and then I'll cut the backyard. Wednesday, I'll do the same except in the evening, cut the front yard. If I can physically keep up, several nights this week I plan to work on the dining room some after the babies go to bed. I've just GOT to get that room done and the bedroom done. I'm so stressed over allowing the dining room project to drag on as long as it has, I'm determined to get my rear in gear.

The internet is down over my husband's way. So, we aren't able to communicate like we've become accustomed to. He did get to call last night though and we talked for a bit. We are both more than ready for this to be over and to have our family back together. I'm to the point where it's all I can think about. It consumes my every thought. What it will be like to SEE him. How it will feel to hold his hand again. What kisses feel's been so long since we kissed one another. I think about being able to kiss him again and I get tingly - like that young twenty-two year old who kissed him at the end of our first date.

I can't WAIT for him to sit with me and watch our babies play. They are such characters and so many times, I would have been hysterical over some of the things they were saying if only he'd been here to share it with me. I can't wait for him to see the house and all the changes.

I can't wait to finally get our new bedroom suit and have our bedroom completely redone...and to light candles and lay in bed and talk for hours like we used to. It never fails, Sunday nights our schedules will be messed up from taking turns napping and sleeping in over the weekend, we just can't get to sleep at a decent hour. We know Monday morning we'll be hating life, but we stay awake talking anyway. Eventually, one of us will say something and we'll get to laughing so hard we both have tears coming out of our eyes. Gosh I haven't laughed like that in almost a year and I can't wait to feel that again, to have my life back. A life I love and value and the pure happiness I feel when my family is together, where everyone is safe and healthy and happy.

I know no one person's life is perfect, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to be this happy in adulthood. Coming from a divorced home, I never thought I'd marry - I never thought I'd ever feel loved or ever be a mother. I was such a loner and just an unhappy early 20-something. And by chance, my life changed when I met him. He showed me love like I'd never known. Happiness I'd never even contemplated. Passion that I hadn't known existed. Comfort and safety - peace and excitement. It was as if I'd been blind all my life and when I met him, he opened my eyes to what life is and should be.

I love him with every ounce of my soul. When he comes home, there will never be another day if he can retire as planned where I will EVER spend a night away from him again. I want to share every day of the rest of my life taking care of him and loving him in person, not from the other side of the world.

Gosh, I just cannot wait to see his clothes in the laundry. I can't wait to put his PJ bottoms, a clean towel and wash cloth out for him in the bathroom so when he goes up to take a shower after work, he just has to get in the shower because I have it all ready for him.

I can't wait to cook his dinners and talk to him while we're clearing off the table. I can't wait until we're putting the babies to bed and we say good night to them and walk down the stairs together talking about what beautiful children we made together. I can't wait to drink his coffee - mine tastes awful compared to the way he makes it. I can't wait to sit on the porch in the cool breeze and hear about his day at work. I cannot WAIT to watch him sleep. Just hear him breathing and that peaceful look on his face.

It's all I can think about. All that and so much more. I miss him so much. Please keep him and all those with him in your prayers for a safe last few months. May God watch over them all and not rob ONE soldier of the loving homecoming they all deserve.

I miss him and as each day brings us closer to the day we're finally together again, I can hardly contain my excitement. He's brought so much love and happiness to my life and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing him how special and loved he is.

He is so deeply loved by so many family members and friends, but especially by me. Please God, watch over him and bring him home safely to us. We love him so much.

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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Interesting Reading

I've not been online today, so I'm rushing around trying to catch up on some news before I have to hit the hay. I've read quite a few interesting articles though and thought I'd share this one:
The Education of Alexandra Polier
"Falsely accused of having an affair with John Kerry, the “intern” sifts through the mud and the people who threw it.

A long article, but I remember the night it hit Drudge and found it interesting to hear where she was and what she was doing. I can't say her article made me empathize with her too much. I found her to be a bit on the pompous side.

Update:I found this linked from Bunker Mulligan's D-Day entry. It's a must read! I wish Bush could make this speech. The French and their arrogance could use a reminder of reality:

Chirac will be the host, and he will act smug and superior. He will try to leverage the situation for his own benefit. Bush isn't going because he has any great urge to talk to Chirac. I suspect that Bush would much rather visit the dentist than to visit Chirac. As President of the United States, Bush will be in Normandy on June 6 to honor the Americans buried there, and he will have to tolerate humiliation by Chirac to do so. There's little he can do to avoid at least informally meeting with Chirac. He can't be rude even if Chirac is.


I have a little fantasy. I don't expect it to happen. But I imagine to myself Bush delivering this speech, when it is his turn at the microphone.

Sixty years ago, American soldiers fought on this ground to save it from fascism. They went overseas to a strange land, full of people speaking a strange and incomprehensible language, and they fought to save those people from brutal tyranny, and to prevent that tyranny from reaching the shores of their American homeland to threaten the loved ones they left behind. They liberated that nation, and then most of them went home. They fought not to create an empire, but to prevent creation of one.
It's really worth the read, so - what are you waiting for ;)? Go read it!

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