The Deployment Diary

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Day 232 - Gosh I Love Him...

I was talking to my friend last night. The one who came to visit Sunday. We were talking about our husbands and how handsome we think they are. I know, like two school girls or something, but the conversation just ended up there.

I told her, if I were a soldier and worked with my husband and not as his wife - just some soldier who ended up working for him, I'd be so in love with him I couldn't do my job. He's the picture of MAN to me - that symbol of strength and courage and drive - and good grief, put a uniform on the guy (or a goatee when he's on leave) and I melt even more. Honestly, when he's home, even after years of marriage, when he drives up in the evening after being at work all day (not even gone for a day or two), my heart starts pounding because he's HOME. To me, that's what tells me my marriage is strong and healthy - my heart races when I see him, I rush to meet him. I want to touch him and kiss him and hear how his day was. And, it doesn't take a deployment to make me feel that way. It's EVERY day.

Now, this was all said in fun. Women soldiers are professionals and have lives of their own. I was just thinking back to that 22 year old kid who met him by chance. This big man with a drill sergeant hat on, a voice that is so distinct and powerful - and a smile that honestly made my knees go weak. It was that smile, that first smile when he was introduced to me that the little voice inside me said, "THERE he is! That's him! That's the man you've been looking for." I cannot explain it. I can't. It sounds like some fairy tale I've made up, but it isn't. The thought "THERE he is!!" overpowered me and I was transfixed on his every feature, his every word. And from that moment forward I loved him. Each day we were together, I found more to love. Even to this day, each year I think I cannot possibly love him any more than I do -and each year I look back and the love has grown and is deeper and stronger than I ever could have imagined.

Those butterflies, this overwhelming love for him engulfs me when I think of him, when I write him, when I hug these two wonderful little people we made together. Honestly, even with him on the other side of the world, under awful conditions, that 22 year old I was, never imagined in her wildest dreams that love could be so absolutely wonderful.

I'm truly the luckiest woman in the world.

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