The Deployment Diary

Friday, March 12, 2004

Another Week Behind Us - Day 185

Thankfully, another week has gone by. Unfortunately, I didn't get much accomplished this week. Laundry done, house cleaned, good suppers cooked - but no work in regards to restoration of the old house. I'm hoping over the weekend I'll get my second wind and get busy. I also have a deadline on a job coming up. I'm so ready to get that thing off my plate!

I have a friend here in town. She's such a super nice lady. We both view our marriages as something sacred, we have the same views on raising children, our morals and values are similar etc. We don't get together often, but we talk when we pick up our children from school and occasionally we email or call one another. She's busy, I'm busy - but we keep an eye out for each other.

It was in January when I called her in tears needing a shoulder to lean on. It was the evening after I'd found out my husband lost two of his friends in one day. She has such compassion for every soul on earth. I cannot describe the strength of this woman, her calm demeanor, her caring and concern for everyone. She runs herself ragged working, taking care of her daughter, taking care of all the spouses in her husband's platoon. She gives so much and never asks for anything in return.

Recently, it was my turn. I received a phone call from her. Her husband's platoon had lost soldiers. She had helped out one of the spouses several times so she knew them pretty well. The evening she called, she had spent the day at the woman's home and the next day she was taking food to her. I offered to pick up her daughter from school for her the day she'd be taking dinner.

The afternoon of, she called and asked if I would mind picking up her daughter. Of course I didn't. I took them to the store and got us all sodas and we went to the park for a while. Then, we came home to the under construction house lol and they played upstairs in my daughter's room until my friend arrived. It felt good just to do something for her. She's always doing for someone else, she's always giving to someone. It's time some of us who appreciate her kindness, her love and her always being there to give back to her.

Even though her husband is safe and she's heard from him, she still has a few rough weeks ahead of her. It's hard when it hits this close to home. For me, I had just started to feel secure in all this and the reality of it all came crashing back when he lost his friends. It brought me back to day one it seemed - the feelings of fear and insecurity of the future. I was again waking in a jolt in the middle of the night to listen to the updates on Fox at the top of the hour. I was back to the feeling as though I might jump out of my skin at any given moment. I was back to crying jags - where I might not cry for a few days and then one day, when the babies were asleep, just break down and sob for a good thirty minutes just because I couldn't take the pressure of it all building up inside for another second.

I'm praying for these families. I'm praying for my friend and her husband. None of us will ever be quite the same after this. I doubt many of us will ever take tomorrow for granted.

We have another week behind us. We're one week closer to when this deployment will be over. Spring is slowly arriving. I'll be able to work in the yard some and stop being the hermit I've turned into. I'll hopefully finish the one room I have torn apart and get to start on the next room planned in plenty of time to finish it before he comes home. The job will be finished up and I can take some down time to read something that has a cover and pages instead of what is on a computer screen. We'll be heading to the pool to enjoy some sun. The flowers will be in full bloom and as it gets so hot that I catch myself wishing for fall several times a week and cringing at the electric bill to cool this place - we'll hopefully have word on when he'll be coming home. And then, hopefully, God willing - it will be smooth sailing. He'll return, take block leave, finish up the 90 days stabilization, put in his retirement paperwork and ACAP slowly - retiring at 21 years instead of the planned 20. I look forward to the day when there will be no more scary good-byes. He's done his time. I've now done my time - and the rest is our time. I'm not planning on sharing him - ever again.

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