The Deployment Diary

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

Another Blah Day

For those who are counting along: Day 182

Yesterday was a great day. Truly! I can't explain what made it a great day. We didn't do anything exciting unless you consider laundry exciting. The sun was shining and it was warm enough to open the windows in the afternoon.

It was the first time since he left that I've enjoyed cooking. Cooking actually isn't one of my favorite things to do to begin with, but when he's home I do frequently catch myself enjoying it.

I guess I was born in the wrong era. I like the floors freshly vacuumed in the late afternoon right before he gets home (we have dogs, dog hair drives me crazy).

The babies know when it's time for me to start cooking, it's time for them to start picking up so I can get the house vacuumed and supper started. He normally leaves for work several hours before we get up and start our day. When he comes home, I don't want him tripping over toys just to be able to sit down and take his boots off.

When he comes home from work in the evenings, I like to have supper on the table - or about ready to be put on the table so he can sit down and eat. I love when he walks in the door and says, "Something smells GREAT! I'm starving!"

If I worked fourteen to sixteen hours a day, I'd be ready to eat, get a shower and relax when I got home. I like to have everything just so. I'm not sure if other wives do this or if I'm stuck in some 1950's time warp.

He wouldn't care if the toys were out or if I'd skipped a day (or two or three) of vacuuming. If he did, he would do it himself I imagine. He's just like that. For example, no matter what I say (ok, threaten) after dinner, he pushes me out from in front of the sink, points me to the door and says, Go relax, you cooked, I'll clean up."

He's wonderful to me.

Back to yesterday. It was just a great day. Like I said, I even enjoyed cooking dinner. The babies were in the kitchen acting silly. I made a cream cheese pie for desert. We ate, I cleaned up the kitchen, we watched one of our daughter's favorite shows and then it was bath time. Bed time was even easy without our son pulling his new found need for water the minute his little rear gets in the bed lol.

Last night I tried to figure out why such a regular day had felt so great. I couldn't nail down any one reason. Maybe it was the sunshine. Maybe my mood is going to start improving once spring has sprung. Maybe it was a fluke.

Today I was back to blah. Not as bad as it was during February though. Can someone explain why the shortest month of the year takes the longest to get through? A few times, I seriously questioned if the darned thing would EVER end or if I was stuck in a rotation of dark, dreary weathered days - feeling about as bad as the weather looked lol.

I want yesterday's feeling back! That's what I'm striving for every day. It was as if finally I was ok with it all. Ok with cooking for one - and watching our picky eaters pick a lot. Ok with the topic of conversation over supper revolving around recess and how many times the class clown (little Austin) was told to stop, quit or don't. Ok with the thought of another night of telling one dog or the other (or on bad nights both) to stop snoring instead of my husband.

It was ok. I was ok. And if ok gives me that much peace - I want it every day until our countdown is finally done. I can make that happen. I can. It beats the heck out of blah any day!

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